10 Things That Weird Me Out

In no particular order:

1 - Families who kiss on the mouth. It's weird... just plain weird.
2 - When someone grabs my hand in the middle of a high-five. Occasionally, this type of person may even shake the hand, midair. Somewhat intuitively, I refer to these interlopers as "high-five grabbers."
3 - Men who urinate with one hand on their waists. This man is typically easy to identify: he tends to wear ties to occasions at which ties are not necessarily merited, he may have a gaudy ring from his alma mater on the pinky of his left hand, he gives a firm handshake, and he possess an overly hearty belly laugh.
4 - Nacho cheese. If it's liquid at room temperature, it's not cheese.
5 - Couples who refer to each other as "babe". This includes all subsequent permutations and other frivolous pet names that come to mind.
6 - Wirey facial hair. Typically backlit by pasty, white flesh which further deepens the contrast, this folicle anomaly is particularly disturbing on men but is even more so if found on women. Some have even coined the term "pubey" to describe this type of facial foliage.
7 - When people let their pets lick them on the face. Any tongue that has recently made contact with the ass-end of a house pet should never find itself anywhere near a human face.
8 - Mustard. It's gross.
9 - Body odor/bad breath. What makes body odor and bad breath especially nauseating is that those who typically possess these qualities also seem to lack a sense of personal space.
10 - Hearing the elderly discuss physical intimacy. Certain memories from "back in the day" should remain unvoiced until the grave.